Pay Day

     I have a love/hate relationship with pay day. I get a strange satisfaction from paying bills. I would even go as far to say that I LIKE making payments. Weird, I know. It feels good to me to pay a debt. I like knowing that I am a real adult, able to pay for the utilities that I use and repay student loans, credit card bills, car and mortgage payments.... on and on it goes.
     Now comes the hate. I HATE paying bills. Why? Because at the moment, we are behind. I can't make payments on every bill that is due. If we are going to continue to keep a roof over our heads and have something to eat (really, I'm not talking about a steak dinner, I just mean food, of some sort to keep our bellies full and give us enough energy to get through our day) I can NOT make a payment on every bill. This is the most frustrating thing EVER. I want to pay my bills. I want to keep my credit in good standing. The bad thing is that it is not always feasible.
     I know what you are thinking... stop complaining and get another job so that you can pay your bills. News flash... DH works 40+ hours a week. I work 10-15 outside the home at a part time job AND run a direct sales business. Short of spending more money that I bring in at said part time job to hire a babysitter, there is no way for either of us to work more hours. I work evenings when DH can be home with the kiddos (DD age 3 and DS age 1).
     The good news... W2s are in. That means tax return time is right around the corner. I've been working on tax prep some this week and I am praying for a great big return this year. Energy credits for new HVAC and having a baby in 2013 should make a difference. Prayers for that to be the case would be awesome. Thanks!